Oh, Susquehanna!

joshishollywood:

I don’t have any jokes about lobsters right now but I’m sure I could come up with something in a pinch

What’s red, a sea creature, and delivers presents to kids on Christmas Eve? Santa Claws.

Why would the snitch be swimming with the fishies? Because they’re lobsters.

What do punk rock lobsters listen to? CRUSTacean punk.

Are lobsters religious? It’s hard to say, but they’re definitely prayfish.

A lobster scuttles into a bar and the bar tender asks her what she wants. The lobster replies “A single molt, please”.

I tried a recipe from lobster cookbook yesterday, but all the recipes read “A pinch of salt, a pinch of basil, a pinch of…”

(via pluralities)

3 weeks ago473 notes
  1. kligons reblogged this from beyoncebeytwice
  2. erubescentitian reblogged this from beyoncebeytwice
  3. cryingvagina reblogged this from spicyjew
  4. caats-and-carrots reblogged this from beyoncebeytwice
  5. kimichangas reblogged this from emilyyyyyyyyyyy
  6. backtopigfarts reblogged this from spicyjew
  7. emilyyyyyyyyyyy reblogged this from allamericanchola
  8. asunandasmile reblogged this from keepingupwiththekardacheyennes
  9. meghanbee reblogged this from spicyjew
  10. allamericanchola reblogged this from spicyjew
  11. yip-yip-appa reblogged this from spicyjew
  12. spicyjew reblogged this from beyoncebeytwice
  13. bear-x reblogged this from molluminati
  14. beyoncebeytwice reblogged this from molluminati
  15. keepingupwiththekardacheyennes reblogged this from noroomforthegirlonfire
  16. molluminati reblogged this from keepingupwiththekardacheyennes
  17. skaal reblogged this from joshishollywood
  18. ze-colour-red reblogged this from abigcomplicatedword
  19. imsoconfusedrightnow reblogged this from kitsugotanewpairofshoes and added:
    A perfect example of how people who get crustacean the real world and retreat online?
  20. consumedwithwanderlust reblogged this from joshishollywood
  21. howbo15 reblogged this from joshishollywood
  22. mysleepspent reblogged this from joshishollywood
  23. kcowns reblogged this from -tckngclocks
  24. teebaka reblogged this from nadine516
  25. thecallofasiren reblogged this from nadine516
  26. nadine516 reblogged this from thetumblr-thisisatumblr
  27. onehandedclappin reblogged this from questioningly